Fighting the Fat Talk – Screw the Scale

A lot of healthy living blogs out there are talking about how to “Fight the Fat Talk”. I will make no claim at being able to provide any professional advice or tips supported by any time of research. Instead, I want to talk about my own personal struggle and how I am trying to help myself.

Rewind One Year…

Last year, about this time, I was completing my first Whole30. It was an incredible experience. It literally changed my life. Food had a whole new meaning for me and “healthy” had been completely redefined in my vocabulary.

As 2013 progressed, a deeper change occurred. My inner voice, the judgmental one, went quiet. When I looked into the mirror, the first thoughts in my head were not belittling, nit-picking, or demeaning in any sort of way. I was happy with my body, my progress, …myself.

The love/hate affair with the scale was broken. With no batteries in the scale, I only weighed myself a few times over the twelve months (using gym scales occasionally). Instead I took my body measurements and went with an “intuitive” health scale.

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Unfortunately….something has happened…. and the mean voice has awoke with me. 

I have weighed myself every day the past week.

I find something to pick on each time I look in the mirror.

I have tummy issues.

I have skin break outs.

But most regrettably, I am starting to tell myself that I’m not good enough.

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There’s a fine line between “wanting to be a better person” and “not being good enough”. Everyone should strive for continuos improvement…whether it’s in their health, fitness, financial, intellectual, emotional, etc status. We can all be better people. But in doing so, we should also love ourselves in the process.

My box is doing an 8-week challenge (typical of most gyms with the body measurements, pictures, weight loss, prizes, etc). I told myself that I would not partake in this challenge because I want to tackle this in a healthy way. I need to break my bond with the scale.

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So now I know, I weigh 165-170lbs and I have 15.5-16% body fat. This means that over the last year I have gained almost 15-20lbs, but I have also lost 10lbs of body fat (used to hover around 25%). These are just numbers…and they do not define me. And I’m not going to hide those numbers out of shame. While I’m heavier, I know that I’m healthier.

I will clear the house of chocolate.

I will remove the battery from the scale.

I will focus on the things I love… including myself.

And surely, over time, once again…. I will silence the mean voice within….

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It’s funny cuz it’s true!
It also means I have to push further/lower on bench press and push ups. But I don’t mind!

whole30 review



when i committed to doing the whole30, i had my hesitations. i’ve never been able to stick to a diet nor have extreme self control around food. don’t get me wrong, i didn’t binge but i was complacent telling myself i ate “relatively healthy”. 

committing to the whole30 on dec3rd, crossing christmas and new years was an even bigger challenge. but i told myself it would make it easier than “trying to cut back”. because rather than allowing myself “just one” or trying to track how many “just one’s” i’d had that day… the answer would always be simple. it would be “no thank you

turns out that worked!

it was hard, and i went through some ups and downs in my emotions. but i made it through!

you can read all about the common stages over on



now here’s my take…

week 1 – i was tired and hungry. making sure i ate enough protein was challenging. i do think the volume of each meal increased, but cutting snacking probably offset that. realizing i couldn’t chew gum was a major bummer. {funny how i don’t miss it now}.  did i mention how tired i was?! 

week 2 – i lost my hunger. as my body began adjusting to the new REAL food, i lost my appetite. some of this may be attributed to lack of meal diversity but i was also getting sick of meat. slowly, my energy starts to creep up and my relationship with food and appreciation for it begins to change about half way through. gregg dropped off from whole30 to paleo – rather than going with him – that gave me more desire to stick with it.

week 3 – late week 2/early week 3 i had food dreams. lots of them. some funny, some bizarre. but i start to feel the “tiger blood”… looking back through my blog posts they are chipper and energetic.

week 4 – early week 4/late week 3 my energy plummets. i’m crabby. and i’m mean…. turns out, my body needs more carbs during certain time of the month. after i learn & adjust accordingly, energy is back up and mood improves! the last half of week four felt like it took forever. i was just ready for day 30 to be here.

day 29 (nye) – i tell myself i’ve done well enough. i can eat whatever i want.  but i don’t. because i committed to 30 days, not 29.

day 30 (new year’s day) – i tell myself i’ve more than proven myself…that night, i will indulge in a little frozen custard. however, ted drewe’s is closed, and i feel ashamed of letting my guard down on last day.

day 31 (today!) – for weeks i’d planned to get starbucks this morning….yet i didn’t. i don’t know why. i told myself i’d “need” or “want” it more later in the week. i stayed compliant to whole30 (other than my paleo-ized banana muffin).  i’m looking forward to carrying the things i’ve learned day-to-day.

there is, honestly, some anxiety in my head…. what happens after all this???  what happens when i eat something and feel like crap???  what happens when my energy plummets and i gain all my weight back, or my headaches return, or acne reappears??? 

well, the answer is simple, i eliminate what hurts. 

i eat good food.

i would encourage anyone, and everyone, to the whole30 challenge. it will change your life. i promise.

i’ve lost weight. tightened my bod. quit taking prescription migraine meds. skin is brighter and clearer. energy is up. i’m happy. tummy issues are gone.  

what will you gain? only one way to find out!!…. 



Three Weeks… No Change

This morning marked the fourth weigh-in for my office’s Biggest Loser contest… And for three weeks in a row, I weigh the exact same! down to the tenth of a pound! After lots of “WTF” thoughts level-headed thinking… I’ve realized…

  1. At least I’m not gaining!
  2. I haven’t really been modifying my eating. I still eat out a couple meals a week. But overall make healthy choices. I think. (i’ve stopped writing in my FitBook so that is not verifiable. whoops!)
  3. I’m more fit. I’ve been logging 8-10 miles a week already and I’m getting faster and building endurance as I go. (Tonight 2miles in 18 mins :-D)

It’s more important to me to be healthy and fit than to see a magic number on the scale.

I’ll just keep telling myself that.  Over.  And Over.

I’ve got some important things to do tonight, and I’m using my work laptop so I can’t import any pics. But I don’t want to leave you without some eye candy… so enjoy this.